A Friend Got Married
A long term friend of mine got married just the other day. He only dated her for about the same amount of time I've been dating my boyfriend, so I was surprised when I found out that they got engaged. I always liked him and had a small crush on him while he was married before. Obviously I'm not the type of person to just go and break up relationships, so I would never pursue that kind of thing. I wouldn't be able to just jump in a relationship like he did, but I guess he knows what he's doing since he got married so fast. Unless there is a baby on the way! Oh dear!

I'm sort of conflicted with marriage again. I'd like to find someone that complements me and possibly get married. On the other side of the coin, I don't really think I want to put the effort into that. Am I just too lazy to try and find it? Probably. I am dating a guy now who is more like a roommate with benefits thing, but I would never marry him. In fact, he's been driving me nuts lately. Is it hormones or am I just getting tired of him? I can't tell half the time. I feel like a maneater in relationships. For example, I will want to spend lots of time with him, I like the pursuit, then once I get it, ok, now what?

I feel like a robot in relationships that I have had. I think I just get bored. Why wouldn't I? Same shit, different guy. I feel like such a loner and user when I say that, though. Do I just use men for my own personal interests? Perhaps in a way. I mean, this relationship was a one night stand...that's still going on. I think it's staleness. Well, the biggest issue here is the intelligence gap. I don't feel challenged and I feel trapped since if I go out and meet people, talk about some major self-esteem issues and jealousy. Yeesh. That sounds like reason enough to get rid of him.

We'll see what happens. Guess if I continue the current trend, have him help me move, get settled in my new house, and see where it goes at that point. Ugh, I sound heartless.

Diets and Dreams
When I moved to Colorado last year, I was my second highest weight ever. I lost like 5 pounds (maybe it was the altitude?) but I stalled and even with trying to do physical activity, I wasn't really able to lose much more. I read about ketogenic diets on reddit and figured I could give it a try. I love mayonnaise and know enough about nutrition, anatomy and physiology to know that fats in food don't make you fat. The diet intrigued me since I could still eat meat, plenty of mayonnaise and bacon! I just had to add veggies and more fat than protein. It wasn't hard to adjust, besides just reading a bunch of food labels and finding that everything in the world has carbohydrates. I stuck to the diet and I lost 15 pounds in about 4 months. I felt pretty good. Always thirsty and I felt like I had more energy. Clothes were fitting looser even though the numbers on the scale weren't dropping drastically. Then Thanksgiving came and I caved in to carbs again. I got lazy. I caught a sinus infection. I feel like crap.

I realized 2 weeks into the diet that I was addicted carbs. It was kind of hard going from carbs all the time to no carbs, but I felt better and saw results. I was motivated. I had fun eating fat filled foods and not a bunch of breads and sugars. I am definitely worried that I will end up with diabetes if I don't cut the carbs out.

Yesterday I was thinking about how crappy I felt and how I wasn't doing well with the current items I have been eating. I said no more and decided to go back on my diet today. I had a dream that I was eating something carby and sweet and I just spit it out. I know dreams can be random and sometimes they make no sense, but I think my body decided to tell my brain that this needs to be done. No more carbs again. I finished up the cookies that one of my instructors gave me and that's it, I can't eat the sugar and starches. My pants are getting tighter again. I feel like I was going so well and then just messed it all up. Time to jump on the keto wagon again and lose some pounds!
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I made it
I'm back again. It's been a really long time. I really want to get back into writing. I saw my dedication before, then I slacked, now I want to do it again. I write so many emails, rereading them, making sure they make sense. A journal entry is something I don't have to get insane about. I like that it's more relaxed and it's what I make. Not stupid bullshit that is something I have to deal with that is work related.

So in a couple of my previous posts I talked about wanting to move to Colorado. Well, last year, I did. It was scary at first. I've never been here before. But there was something about it that drew me in. Sure enough, I started working for another company and they had a job offering out here. No one at my location wanted to come out here, but I knew that this was my best shot. I broke my lease, it got rented real fast so they didn't lose much money, I drove 250 miles back to my hometown in Chicagoland. My parents gave me a slightly newer truck and stored my stuff while I drove through Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska. Illinois, too dark to care about the plains I sped past. Iowa was really nice. Very hilly and I liked the wind turbines littering the country side. I also saw a blade of one of those turbines being transported. That was insanely long and really cool to see up close. Nebraska was ridiculously boring. I didn't even get to see Omaha, it was all foggy. Then I got to Kearney, made famous in an episode of Dexter, and stayed the night. I had driven about 10 hours with only my nice business casual clothes, some random items and toiletries. I didn't have a place to stay besides staying at an extended stay and heading out the days before I started my new job hunting for an apartment.

When I made it to Denver, I was disappointed because I couldn't even see the mountains. I was so excited to see them, then nothing was there! They were covered by low level clouds. I was able to see them just fine the next day while my hunt for an apartment began. I looked all over and found one really close to my work. The apartments were more than I had hoped, but I eventually found one. Indoor pool and decent rent, I couldn't say no. Way better than the others I had seen previously that day. After a year, I can say that the complex is definitely not well managed. Such is life, though.

I ended up meeting a guy in May and we are together now. It's strange. I've been single for so long, it's weird being in a relationship again. I really like him, even my parents like him. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he makes me happy. He also makes me breakfast in the morning. I'll admit it, I'm spoiled. May not be the highest paid in the state, but he has the job and he actually makes decent money for being paid under the table and getting tips.

So besides moving a very far distance from everything familiar to me, I made another big step. I bought a house! I may be crazy, I never had this feeling in Wisconsin to actually want to purchase a house. Also, the rates and market kind of crashed. But now, for only 200 more than I am paying rent right now (140 more if I renewed my lease here) I am going to be a homeowner! It has a good frame and I am ready to put in some improvements so I am super excited.

It's been quite a year, but I'm really happy and excited with what is to come. Looking at some of my last entries made me sad and it seemed like I only wrote when I was depressed. Which is why I am here now, I had a very fun past year and so much has happened that I had to update.

But it's time to sleep now. I have a house to clean tomorrow.

(no subject)

I have a new toy. The beautiful Samsung Galaxy Tablet 10.1 with 64GB of memory in white. It's too beautiful I was sad they didn't have any accessories, though. Everything was picked over from the sale. That's what Amazon.com is for!

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.


Writer's Block: On the red carpet
Are you watching the Emmys tonight?

No, I will be driving 250 miles tonight.

Writer's Block: Excuse me, but there’s lettuce in your teeth.
Tell us your worst date stories. (Don’t worry, we all have them.)

Sadly, I don't really go on dates. Therefore, I have no bad date stories. :(

I woke up really early. Second morning in a row I woke up at 9AM. As far as I know, I was asleep by 2AM, so I got over 7 hours of sleep. Still tired, though. It's like I sleep for a length of time, but it's not a sound sleep. I don't remember any dreams. I did wake up to Garfield on Cartoon Network, though. That was annoying, I just don't like the guy who plays Garfield. Ya, and the weird digital animation of that show kind of creeps me out.

I'm getting my laundry done! Yay! I needed clothes to wear for this week! I can't believe this week is already half over! I like 3 day weekends! I'm even going out of town next weekend on Friday so score again for another 3 day weekend!

Wow, for once I don't have much to say. What's up with that? Guess I'm just a little under the weather or something. I better not get sick, though. I don't have time for that kind of thing.

While watching NGC, I've found information about the Bermuda Triangle, Crop circles, and the Nevada Triangle! A morning wasted. Eh, we all need a lazy morning, I guess. At least I got the laundry and some dishes done, too...

Writer's Block: Blast to the past
If you could travel back in time, what would you tell your 10-year-old self?

Science is great, but start writing more, you'll find a whole different world there.

It's refreshing to know I don't work tomorrow! I'm very excited about this fact!

Went to church today, it was a good sermon about testimony and God. It made me think about my personal relationship with God. Other people put a lot of emphasis on prayer when it comes to getting things in life. First off, there is nothing wrong with that and I've done it, too! It has to do with bettering oneself and if that's how people are going to pray, good for them! I seem to find God the most when the chips are down. Most people turn to God when they are out of luck or in the red when it comes to life. For me, I personally found God when I was alone. I'm a loner at heart, I don't need people and sometimes abhor the presence of them. When I was down because I was alone, I knew I could turn to myself, and found God within myself. I think you have to find him first there, because that is where he really resides in your life. He's not in the house, not in the car, he's within. I mean, you can't see another person's faith unless you have some weird God finding aura goggles on. I don't really express my faith to others, though unless they ask me about it. Then oh man, the flood gates open!!

I finally scoped out an awesome place to take my morning photography. I was looking for a place that would face East to encompass the beautiful morning twilight. Fall is my favorite time to take pictures because of the crisp air and of course the nice colors it brings with it. I think I found a couple of great places to stake out some morning. On my journey up the bluffs, I used Google Maps to help me find a route to the high road. Well, little did I know, the road wasn't exactly paved. It was the low maintenance road. I really did take a trip off the beaten path. One wrong move and I would've been tumbling down the bluffs. I heard a loud pop and got scared that my tire exploded, later I heard another one, someone was hunting in the area! My truck is amazing, though. It is built Ford tough!
It wasn't paved the entire way!

Time to tune my ear to music, though. Busting out the violin!

Writer's Block: Paging Al Gore
Would you give up the Internet for $10 million? (this is for the rest of your life.)

If that includes my phone...well you can try to pry it out of my cold, dead hands. I guess I could give up the internet... if I had to. I CAN live without it. I don't think it would be easy. Wait if this includes internet for gaming this would be really hard. What would I even do with $10 million if I couldn't write about it or upload pictures on my laptop and share it with people?! I don't like this question.


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